Tidbit Tuesday

Did You Know?????

That trimming our daughters curly hair is a cinch!  There really is nothing to it.  Their kinks and coils are very forgiving.  That is, as long as you intend to have them wear their hair in cornrows, braids, twists, puffs and afros.  You really can't go wrong.  IF you intend to straight iron your daughters hair or blow it out straight, that is a different story.  In that case a professional might be money worth spending.  But since Miss V never wears her hair in those styles, I might as well do it myself and save the cash!!!

I pretty much say all that needs to be said in this video.  So give it a watch -



Have you ever cut your kids hair, or are you intimidated by the idea?

Katie

Tidbit Tuesday

Did You Know?????


That we do things a little bit differently in the winter?  If you live in a state that gets cold - or brutally cold, you also deal with dryness - or brutal dryness!  There are quite a few things you can do to battle dry skin and hair.  If you recall, one thing we like to do is be sure to drink plenty of water.  Does that really help?  Don't know for sure, but it can't hurt!

I have also come to understand recently that the temperature of the water that you shower in really matters. I have dealt with my acne prone skin ever since puberty.  It has always been a vicious cycle for me.  I use semi-harsh products to fight the acne, which dry out my skin and cause me to need to moisturize.  But my skin is SO sensitive to ANYTHING I put on it that ALL moisturizers cause me to break out.  So, the trick has been finding products to use on my face that WON'T cause me to get dry in the first place.  Well, I have been using Proactive for many years and it has been the one thing that doesn't dry me out.  That being said, in the winter I do occasionally battle with dryness.  I finally figured out this year that if I avoid taking scalding hot showers and especially washing my face in scalding hot water, it makes a HUGE difference in how dry my face gets!  This has been a life saver.  I have only used moisturizer on my face once so far this winter!  I know it can be hard, since when you are cold to the bone, a nice steamy shower is sooooo tempting, but it really makes a difference.  Go for warm water instead and be quick about it!

I have applied this new found knowledge to how the kids shower/bath in the winter months also.

Another thing you can do is double up!  If you normally lotion up or spritz hair once a day, you can do it twice a day.  Maybe not every day, but whenever you feel it is needed.  My kids, especially V, get super dry hands in the winter.  So I set an extra bottle of lotion by the sink and tell her to lotion up her hands after EVERY hand wash.

I have definitely been able to see V's hair getting dryer looking faster this winter.  So in between hair styles, you can throw in a hot oil treatment for a boost of moisture!  After you have taken out the current style and detangled the hair, get a bit of Extra Virgin Olive Oil, heat it up for a few seconds in the microwave, and apply it section by section to the hair and scalp.  BE CAREFUL not to get the oil to hot.  You will be applying it directly to the scalp and you don't want to burn your little one!  There are a number of methods you could use to do this, but I just use my fingertips.  I scoop a bit of oil up, apply it to the scalp and then use my fingers/hand to run it down and through the length of the hair.  Then put that section in a braid and move to a new section.  Let the oil sit for about 20 minutes and then rinse out.  Then wash or cowash as usual and be sure to add your normal form of moisturizer after the wash!

Young Man C is terrible at taking care of his hair and he is too old for me to have to be on his case all the time.  Since he doesn't want to take the time to add the needed moisture to his hair in the winter the answer is simple - we cut it off!  If you have a boy, do you go with short hair in the winter?  It probably doesn't keep their heads as warm, but it sure looks a lot nicer than a dried out little afro!

The other Katie over at Happy Girl Hair had some great posts about their winter hair and skin routines about a month ago.  Check those out for some more tips and tricks! (those are two separate links so click on each of them!)

Katie

The Wonders of Virgin Coconut Oil

We are HUGE fans of Virgin Coconut Oil. I (Steph) knew pretty much nothing about it before learning that it could be useful as a scalp and hair oil. Then my love affair began! 

First, it smells heavenly. Like...well, COCONUT! Hints of the old suntan oil smells from the 1980's waft through my memory. If you have coconut oil and it smells like nothing, you don't have VIRGIN coconut oil. Only the virgin actually smells intensely like coconut. This is the stuff you want.

This oil can be incredibly versatile in your home if you are going to use it on the hair/scalp. Katie uses it while styling V's hair, and I apply it liberally to G's locs, her scalp, her skin, and she also eats it by the spoonful, and we cook with it. Even the dog knows it's good for him and he always gets to lick the spoon or the empty container. Add the oil to the water you boil your rice in....delicious! Instead of popcorn oil, use straight coconut oil in the pot on the stove! You might find you don't even need butter.

Coconut oil has a very low melting point and you will frequently find that it has melted if your home gets warm inside. It will look like a clear liquid in the jar, and, when solid, it will appear more or less snow-white. If it's cool in your house and you reach in to get some oil, and find that it's solid as a rock, don't worry....just dig hard with your finger and scrape some up, or use a spoon, and it will melt instantly in your hands. Some people find it a bit wet and oily on the skin for their taste, but a little goes a long way, and it will always soak in given time. It is a light oil that is going to seem more wet than greasy. Just don't plop your freshly oiled child down on your suede sofa or anything.

Tons of info, pretty much all of it I think :-), can be found at Coconut Connections. They discuss all the science of the medium chain fatty acids in coconut oil and why it's a myth that this oil is unhealthy for you...quite the contrary, in fact. They also talk in depth about why it's so good for your skin.

Last year, I had a dreadful bout of buildup on G's hair (I'll be blogging about that later). After much ado, I finally got the locs clean. Since then, coconut oil is one of the ONLY things I will freely put on her hair. I have never had a buildup issue with it. It has always soaked in really well. 

You can also melt coconut oil with butters like shea, cocoa, mango, etc to make your own body butters. The coconut oil will soften the harder butters.

Virgin Coconut Oil can be found at most health food stores and sometimes even in big box stores like Walmart or Target. Just make sure you are getting VIRGIN. If it doesn't say it on the label, it's not it.  It can easily be ordered online, as well. You can purchase some in our Amazon store in the sidebar on this blog.

If you are new to VCO, as we say for short, give it a try and let us know what you think!

Learning Curve - G's Story, Chapter 1

I had already been doing Snapaholics for about 5 months when I went to pick up G at the end of November, 2006. I gleefully took a bunch of hair accessories with me in anticipation of wowing myself and my new daughter with a cool girly, beady hairstyle. I had been a member of the Yahoo Adoption Hair and Skin Care Group since May of that year and felt that I had a basic inkling of what to do with her hair, and I was looking forward to taking over all the caregiving duties. At this point, in November, she was about 3 years and 9 months old. I was in Haiti for about a month, staying at the creche. Unfortunately it was during a very dangerous time there, and none of us went out really at all for about three weeks. So, there was TONS of time, just OODLES of time to do hair. To practice, to learn, to bond. I had been staring at all of these hair goodies for months now and I wanted to use them! I brought extra because I knew some would disappear....goodies that you bring always do.

There is something odd about time in Haiti. Perhaps you all, in your comments, can tell me if this same phenomenon exists in other countries....there is all the time in the world to do everything on your list when you are hanging out there, because all you are doing is sitting around with your child…and yet the day finishes and you realize you didn't get to anything you had planned. Days go by. You think, "what did I do each of those days?" and you cannot remember exactly what you did, but while you are IN the day, there is hardly any time for anything. Maybe between clingy kids, searching for rolls of toilet paper, being thirsty, getting your first taste of what a real, in-the-flesh, not-someone-else's-kid "tantrum" is, wiping sweat, taking naps, being too hot to get out of your chair, and being fed ridiculously large plates of rice.....somehow the time just slips away from you. It's the strangest phenomenon. All the time in the world, yet no time to do anything.

But back to my good intentions: now the only hair product of choice in Haiti, at least at the creche, was a big ole jar of Vaseline. Biggest jar of Vaseline I had ever seen. The nannies whip their fingers in and out of that jar so fast you can't even see them. I scoffed at that petrolatum...that goo would no longer touch MY baby's head, thought I. I had big plans, you see, of lovingly shampooing and moisturizing G's hair with the products I brought as we took a leisurely (cold) bath, and oh wouldn't it be great to start her out right away at least getting healthier hair!

Yeah, right. I think the products rolled around the bottom of one of my duffel bags and leaked. In fact, G stuck Vaseline in MY hair and somehow (that time vortex thing again), it took me until late the next day to wash it out! Anyway I don't think I saw my bottles of all-natural product the whole time we were there. Bathtime consisted of G gleefully chattering and pouring about 8,000 cups of water all over both of our heads and me working up a sweat IN the bath trying to scrub the grime off of my feet (I always wondered why I was so filthy all the time and the Haitians seemed to be so clean!) I think one night I managed to get some lavender scented baby lotion on G after the bath , which was cool because she had obviously never smelled lavender before and she sat quietly on my lap in the rocking chair for a long time, as if she was drugged.

Mental note to self: Self, stock up on lavender baby lotion!

What I am really trying to say here is that I got no hair done. None. Zero. I have no idea why. By the time we got to the end of the stay and we had our visa and were leaving the next morning, on Dec. 23, I had one sad ole busted-open, half-pack left of red and white heart snaps, so I handed those to the best hair braiding nanny, Dada, and asked her to put in small braids all over with the snaps on the end. I had realized that this Mommy thing was going to be kind of overwhelming and I wanted the style to last as long as possible. Cope now, bling later, was my new motto. So Dada put all my snaps in while G slept. And that is how she arrived in the USA. Notice that the sections are fairly good sized, but the braids themselves are quite small.

Truth is, G's hair was pretty thin and sparse. Those braids you see coming from the crown of her head were about as thick as they got. The top was much longer than the back above the neck. The back was also much coarser than the rest of her hair. This is very typical. Oftentimes babies and even toddlers are nearly bald in back, or patchy, and the hair on top is quite long. It's just from the rubbing as they lie down so much. The texture of hair they are born with or have as babies/toddlers is not necessarily what they are going to have when they get older.

I let Dada's style go as long as humanly possible, so we could focus on US (I highly recommend that!). I changed the snaps from red/white to multi colored pastel hearts (remember those, all you old-timer Snapaholics out there? Ahh memories...) and then finally, when it could just NOT get ANY fuzzier looking, i took them out and did my first style. I hadn't looked at this photo in a long time, but now that I see it it's amazing how far her hair has come. She still doesn't have, and just genetically WON'T, have super dense hair, but it's SO much thicker now than it was. In fact, the photo on the bottom was taken just about one year later. Crazy what nutrition and good products will do!

Here are some things I learned in the first year of doing her hair. I hope you find them helpful!

1. Do not pull the hair too tight with rubber bands. It leads to small pimply bumps from pulling the follicles nearly out! I found that one out on my second hairstyle, above. She wound up with little whiteheads around her hairline. On fragile, brittle hair, too much rubber banding can lead to breakage. Try to use them infrequently, not too tight, and with some caution. Also, the small thin silicone bands that you think are going to be so great and non-damaging....they disintegrate within seconds or minutes with all the oils and moisturizers on the hair. In any event I did really get the hang of two strand twists and was giddy about that. Good two strand twists should look like rope.

2. Please, for the love of Pete, use bling wisely! When I look back at this style, which I now call “Carnival Crazy Hair” or alternately, “Delusions of This-Actually-Looks-Good,” I dope slap myself and say “what was I thinking?” I SO LOVED the cubes I was selling, loved everything about them, that I went completely wacko on her poor head. Of course SHE didn’t mind. Her motto was: the blingier the better.  I mean this is insane. Never do this. You can't even tell she has any hair in there, except for her scalp!

Live by this rule...just because you HAVE all that bling doesn't mean it has to go in their HAIR all at once....(Stephanie!)

3. Her next style was back to basics, the simple hanging box twists, with one bead and a snap. MUCH better! She could shake her head around without having so much hardware knocking her scalp! And did I make the poor girl sleep in all those cubes? Course, she never complained! So...moral is...K.I.S.S.U.G.G.M.H. (keep it simple Steph, until G grows more hair!)

4. And I would be remiss if I did not mention the awesomeness of the basic afro puff! We did LOTS Of puffs. I love G with the height at the back of her head. Here is where your big crazy ballies will really shine! That, or hang something fun from the puffs that they can swing around. Puffs are fast and darling. If you cannot fit all the child's hair in the back up into the puff, do one or two smaller puffs in back or do box braids. It took awhile for G's coarser hair in the back to grow long.

5. Another thing I learned was that sleep caps are your FRIENDS. She never had an issue wearing them and they have been great. They protect the hair, reduce fuzzies, and allow you to put extra moisturizing on their hair before bed if you want, without getting residue on the pillowcase. I will still apply extra coconut oil to her hair and scalp before bed and make sure her sleep cap is on. If your child will not keep a sleep cap on, you can also get satin pillowcases. Consider also hanging an old slip or piece of satin over their car seat. Lots of head rubbing goes on in the car!

6. Now this one is gonna seem as crazy as the Carnival Do....but G absolutely loved it. Yarn falls. Similar to yarn extensions, only easier. It's just a fake ponytail of yarn that is attached with a ballie to her small puff or bun. I made her a few when she was 4 and 5, but she has just recently asked me for another one of these, in the photo. It was the gaudiest one of all...the Little Mermaid ponytail! This one had Ariel buttons made into a ballie, red yarn with aqua and purple ribbons, metallic beads, the works. She wore it for a LONG time. You may be thinking, "oh my gosh my child would get teased to death!" The fact is, G did not. I think the other girls were envious. It probably just depends on where you live, and the personalities of the kids they are around. Where we lived, it was a hit. They really are fun! Girls love hair to swing around, and this is one crazy over-the-top way they can get it.  At this age, there is no such thing as "too tacky."

When your little girl feels like this, who can argue? I can teach you how to do them in a future post, and you can see a few more of the ones I made in the gallery.
















7. If your child tends toward thinner hair, especially around the hairline, be VERY careful with the following, or you might lose some braids/twists/locs. Over the three years she has been home we have lost some to:

Wearing a towel twisted on the head. We lost one when the towel toppled over and the braid and beads were caught up in it.

Too many heavy beads on thin braids. When in doubt, combine that braid with the one next to it.

Other kids who may yank on the hair. We lost two or three this way.

If they lie down on something that has slats/holes in it and are wearing beads, it could become caught and rip out. We lost one this way on a large mesh-type picnic table.

Mad cats. Yep, we lost one to the cat's claws! At least it wasn't her face!

G has grown in bangs a few times over due to these incidents!

Well, I have covered more than you ever wanted to know about G's first year or so at home, but feel free to ask any questions! Next installment, I will talk about putting in her braidlocs...or as I like to proudly call them, Mommylocs!

Thanks for reading!